Did you know you are your biggest Saboteur?
Yes, sadly it’s true, but guess what, you can choose not to be!
Here are three simple yet powerful strategies that can rapidly change your life by helping you see the thoughts that cause you to sabotage, and empower you to change them.
Get to know your ego thoughts by beginning to watch your thoughts, this is so important because when you're caught up in your thinking it's virtually impossible to recognise what's fact and what's fiction.
It's impossible to see through the lies that you often tell yourself, so you must learn to recognise your ego, to be a witness to your ego thoughts and understand the loop they can keep you in.
This is the loop of thoughts, feelings/ emotions, behaviours and reactions I talked about in the first Podcast episode.
So if you haven’t listened to, or read the blog for this episode yet, go do that now and download the free worksheet that goes with that episode.
Strategy number 2
Once you're aware of your thoughts it's vital to cultivate self-compassion.
Self-compassion is the final nail in the egos coffin, the ego can’t stand against it.
Your ego mind is so powerful and made up of so much fear that if you try to engage in any form of battle with it, it will become even more powerful therefore you need to apply a loving kindness to it, with patience to neutralise your ego. When you do this there’s no resistance, there’s nothing to fight against.
Use a Self compassionate thought to replace the judgemental thought of the ego, for example ‘it's ok, you are enough’. ‘You're just human’.
An example of for me recently was when I was beginning to feel overwhelmed and stressed out.
I forgot my son had spellings he had to learn for a test, and I just completely forgot about them.
I was gutted and immediately starting beating myself up about being a dreadful, useless, selfish mother.
The truth is I'd been so busy with my book, my ‘Happy, Healthy and Wealthy’ business program and preparing for my membership site to launch in September I just completely forgot!
My ego mind started raining terror on me!
Your useless, you're terrible mother you can't do it all ,you can't have it all, all these things were running through my mind, causing me to feel guilt, shame, anger, frustration and self doubt.
All these thoughts were piling up on top of me and I started to feel like I couldn't breathe!
So I had to flip the script.
I had to practice what I preach!
So I started consciously choosing to replace these thoughts with self compassionate thoughts.
I reminded myself my children weren’t going to have a terrible life because I’d forgotten about a spelling test! I also reminded myself that i’m doing the best I can. I love my boys and that’s truly enough. And of course, it worked! Before you know it my wise mind was back and I could see from a rationale mindset once again.
Strategy number 3
Choose a different response. Now you can rationalize you can choose to believe the ego mind and allow yourself to feel overwhelmed and stressed, then believe you have to give up and self-sabotage, or you can choose your action from a clear wise mind based on truth, love and a deep foundation of clarity and true awareness.
When you choose to procrastinate, this comes from your ego mind and it's nothing more than lies being told by your own mind to keep you in your comfort zone, to keep you afraid.
Once you've neutralised your ego mind, then the rest is a simple choice to have courage f*** fear and do it anyway, or to let fear paralyse you like a rabbit in headlights.
There’s a free worksheet that goes with this post to help you see and understand this a little more clearly, and to help you get started cultivating a more self-compassionate mindset.
I’d like to end with a quote by the wonderful Marianne Williamson:
‘Nothing binds you except your thoughts; nothing limits you except your fear; and nothing controls you except your beliefs.’
I truly hope this post has resonated and helped you see that you do have a choice! Remember, you weren’t born to be miserable, you’re amazing and you deserve to be happy!
Until next time, many, many blessings.
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